Post by tusti on Aug 23, 2006 10:20:47 GMT -5
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have had a ba=
d day at work ... think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst j=
ob
experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my
job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this:
We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
it to a delightful temperature and then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a dar! n good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This
floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my b=
ack, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When! I scra tched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as=
soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt=
was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, Is this a jellyfish bad day?
d day at work ... think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst j=
ob
experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my
job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this:
We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
it to a delightful temperature and then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a dar! n good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This
floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from my b=
ack, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When! I scra tched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as=
soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt=
was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, Is this a jellyfish bad day?