Post by DEERTRACKS on Aug 7, 2006 8:39:37 GMT -5
> Subject: Ten New Darwin Awards
> Date: Tue, 1 Aug 2006 18:56:32 -0400
>
>
> > Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when
> the Darwin Awards
> > are
> > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
> Here then, are the
> > glorious
> > winners:
> >
> > 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at
> his intended victim
> > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California,
> would-be robber James
> > Elliot
> > did something that can only inspire wonder. He
> peered down the barrel
> > and tried the trigger again. This time it
> worked.....
> >
> > And now, the honorable mentions
> >
> > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a
> finger in a meat-cutting
> > machine and, after a little shopping around,
> submitted a claim to his
> > insurance company. The company, suspecting
> negligence sent out one of
> > its men to have a look for himself. He tried the
> machine and he also
> > lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
> >
> > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
> space for his car
> > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
> vehicle to find a woman
> > had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> >
> > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
> Zimbabwean bus driver
> > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed
> to be transporting
> > from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting
> to admit his
> > incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
> and offered everyone
> > waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
> passengers to the
> > mental hospital, telling the staff that the
> patients were very
> > excitable
> > and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
> wasn't discovered for 3
> > days.
> >
> > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital for
> head wounds received
> > from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
> the injuries, the
> > lad
> > told police that he was simply trying to see how
> close he could get his
> > head to a moving train before he was hit.
> >
> > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a
> $20 bill on the
> > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
> opened the cash drawer,
> > the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in
> the register, which
> > the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
> from the clerk and
> > fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
> total amount of cash he
> > got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a
> gun at you and gives
> > you
> > money, is a crime committed?)
> >
> > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
> badly. He decided that
> > he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor
> store window, grab some
> > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and
> heaved it over his
> > head
> > at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and
> hit the would-be thief
> > on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
> store window was made
> > of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
> videotape.
> >
> > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York
> convenience store, a man
> > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
> immediately, and the
> > woman was able to give them a detailed description
> of the snatcher.
> > Within minutes, the police apprehended the
> snatcher. They put him in
> > the
> > car and drove back to the store. The thief was
> then taken out of the
> > car
> > and told to stand there for a positive ID. To
> which he replied, "Yes,
> > officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the
> purse from."
> >
> > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
> man walked into a
> > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m.,
> flashed a gun, and
> > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
> he said he couldn't
> > open the cash register without a food order. When
> the man ordered onion
> > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
> breakfast. The man,
> > frustrated, walked away.
> >
> > ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
> >
> > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
> motor home parked on
> > a Seattle street, he got much more than he
> bargained for. Police
> > arrived
> > at the scene to find a very sick man curled up
> next to a motor home
> > near
> > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
> man admitted to trying
> > to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
> the motor home's
> > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
> declined to press
> > charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
> ever had.
> >
> > In the interest of bettering human kind please
> share these with your
> > friends and family ... unless of course one of
> these 10 individuals by
> > chance is a distant relative or long lost friend.
> In that case be glad
> > they are distant and hope they remain lost!
> Date: Tue, 1 Aug 2006 18:56:32 -0400
>
>
> > Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when
> the Darwin Awards
> > are
> > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
> Here then, are the
> > glorious
> > winners:
> >
> > 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at
> his intended victim
> > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California,
> would-be robber James
> > Elliot
> > did something that can only inspire wonder. He
> peered down the barrel
> > and tried the trigger again. This time it
> worked.....
> >
> > And now, the honorable mentions
> >
> > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a
> finger in a meat-cutting
> > machine and, after a little shopping around,
> submitted a claim to his
> > insurance company. The company, suspecting
> negligence sent out one of
> > its men to have a look for himself. He tried the
> machine and he also
> > lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
> >
> > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
> space for his car
> > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
> vehicle to find a woman
> > had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> >
> > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
> Zimbabwean bus driver
> > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed
> to be transporting
> > from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting
> to admit his
> > incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
> and offered everyone
> > waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
> passengers to the
> > mental hospital, telling the staff that the
> patients were very
> > excitable
> > and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
> wasn't discovered for 3
> > days.
> >
> > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital for
> head wounds received
> > from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
> the injuries, the
> > lad
> > told police that he was simply trying to see how
> close he could get his
> > head to a moving train before he was hit.
> >
> > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a
> $20 bill on the
> > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
> opened the cash drawer,
> > the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in
> the register, which
> > the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
> from the clerk and
> > fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
> total amount of cash he
> > got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a
> gun at you and gives
> > you
> > money, is a crime committed?)
> >
> > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
> badly. He decided that
> > he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor
> store window, grab some
> > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and
> heaved it over his
> > head
> > at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and
> hit the would-be thief
> > on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
> store window was made
> > of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
> videotape.
> >
> > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York
> convenience store, a man
> > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
> immediately, and the
> > woman was able to give them a detailed description
> of the snatcher.
> > Within minutes, the police apprehended the
> snatcher. They put him in
> > the
> > car and drove back to the store. The thief was
> then taken out of the
> > car
> > and told to stand there for a positive ID. To
> which he replied, "Yes,
> > officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the
> purse from."
> >
> > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
> man walked into a
> > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m.,
> flashed a gun, and
> > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
> he said he couldn't
> > open the cash register without a food order. When
> the man ordered onion
> > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
> breakfast. The man,
> > frustrated, walked away.
> >
> > ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
> >
> > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
> motor home parked on
> > a Seattle street, he got much more than he
> bargained for. Police
> > arrived
> > at the scene to find a very sick man curled up
> next to a motor home
> > near
> > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
> man admitted to trying
> > to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
> the motor home's
> > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
> declined to press
> > charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
> ever had.
> >
> > In the interest of bettering human kind please
> share these with your
> > friends and family ... unless of course one of
> these 10 individuals by
> > chance is a distant relative or long lost friend.
> In that case be glad
> > they are distant and hope they remain lost!