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Post by LawrenceCoBowhunter on Oct 25, 2005 13:23:46 GMT -5
What would you guys do?If your girlfriend or wife wanted you to give up hunting what would it be?My girlfriend of only 6 months is giving me a hard time on hunting.I already missed the spring turkey season because of her,didn't go once.She says I'm putting her second but I don't think I am,she knew from the start I loved deer hunting and wouldn't be around much,she said it was alright then but now it is different.With the good hunting coming up I'm starting to use some vacation days now and she hates it because I'm not with her 24/7.I'm trying to get her into hunting but she wants no part of it.I'm really starting to think I would be better off single again.
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Post by duff on Oct 25, 2005 14:30:15 GMT -5
Do you think it will get any better? Everyone makes tough choices, but if you get married the choice gets tougher, you have kids with her, the choice gets even tougher. Then again after a few years maybe she will want you to go away more often.
I am lucky, my wife understands exactly how important it is for me to go hunting. I don't go as often as I'd like, but I get out more then many guys. She understands it is mentally healthy for me to go hunting. Just as it is for her to go work out and occasionally shopping. We flex our schedules to best fit both of our needs. We now have a 1 yr old girl and that requires even more adjustments.
Another thing to think about is, if she wants you to give up your hunting. Chances are you will be bitter about that, every Oct. 1 or mid Nov. That would be enough stress on the relationship to cause problems IMO.
Good luck, I guess if you are asking us about it your mind is pretty close to being made up anyways.
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Post by kevin1 on Oct 25, 2005 14:44:07 GMT -5
My wife once tried to come between me and fishing , it ended with me throwing my license in her lap and swearing off fishing permanently , with her getting the full blame . After getting frequent reminders of this she finally relented after 4 years and all but begged me to resume fishing . I finally got my Comprehensive Lifetime hunting license 2 years ago , and she was clearly warned what would happen if she cost me that , it wasn't worth it to her so she hasn't said a word . ;D Stand your ground , regret has a very bad taste . There's plenty of fish in the sea , and it ain't like you don't have a pole to fish with ...  |
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Post by shootsa410 on Oct 25, 2005 14:55:22 GMT -5
Been married for 33 years and the only day she says "NO" is Christmas. You don't need to tell me, I know I'm very fortunate.
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Post by duff on Oct 25, 2005 14:57:07 GMT -5
410 were talking about hunting!!!
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Post by jstalljon on Oct 25, 2005 14:59:01 GMT -5
Duff makes some GREAT points....if it's bad now...it will probably get worse unless the two of you set up some specifics. I've fought this battle, and it is definitely a touchy one. I wasn't even a hunter when my wife and I were married. Had never hunted in my life. A mutual friend introduced me to bow hunting a year into our marriage, and I've been hooked since. It wasn't too bad at first as we didn't have kids, but with young ones, a hectic work schedule, and spending time with the MRS. is a full slate. As with most issues, communication and compromise is the key. In the summer my wife has days on the weekend and during the week where it's "her time" out. She can do whatever she wants, and I watch the kids. Come fall....it's my time to be out, and in the woods!  Be open, honest, true about your feelings toward hunting, but don't try to make it a you do this/ I do that contest. Be rational. My wife realizes how much I love to be outdoors. She knows as the kids get older we'll have time afield together and moments that will never be forgotten. She'd much rather have me in the woods than in a bar! Good luck.... |
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Post by DEERTRACKS on Oct 25, 2005 15:33:32 GMT -5
She knew going in that you were an outdoorsman. If she is changing the rules after only 6 months into your relationship you need to give your situation some serious thought & discussion. There is no sense in both of you being miserable. Relationships are supposed to fun. It sounds like your's is going the other direction. Good luck!!!!!!!!!
I am very fortunate to have such a good & understanding wife for the past 26 years when it has come to my hunting & fishing activities. I always try to spend as much quality time as possible with her when I am not in the woods, or on the water.
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Post by gundude on Oct 25, 2005 16:07:24 GMT -5
What would you guys do?If your girlfriend or wife wanted you to give up hunting what would it be?My girlfriend of only 6 months is giving me a hard time on hunting.I already missed the spring turkey season because of her,didn't go once.She says I'm putting her second but I don't think I am,she knew from the start I loved deer hunting and wouldn't be around much,she said it was alright then but now it is different.With the good hunting coming up I'm starting to use some vacation days now and she hates it because I'm not with her 24/7.I'm trying to get her into hunting but she wants no part of it.I'm really starting to think I would be better off single again. WELL FINALLY a question on which I can proclaim to be an expert on!....... I know EXACTLY how you feel and what you are experiencing........ I have to get ready to leave for a meeting but I will give you the 411 on this issue when I return... FOR now go hunt! |
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Post by Woody Williams on Oct 25, 2005 16:39:00 GMT -5
Be very aware of people that say they love you and then say "choose between me and something else that you love to do.."
True love is not telling some one that they shouldn't do what they really want to do. Within reason that is.
Sorry to be blunt, but it sounds like she is a bit selfish.
The others are right, it will not get any better, just worse.
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Post by John on Oct 25, 2005 17:40:41 GMT -5
Very glad my wife of 23 years will let me go hunt whenever I wish. She is the best. Even lets me buy new hunting stuff when I want.It doesn't get any better than that. And the kids love the meat and game, and even get excited when I come home, just to see what I brought back. The rest of the time I spend keeping her happy , one way or another, if you know what I mean. Like I said , she's the best.
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Post by shootsa410 on Oct 25, 2005 18:36:35 GMT -5
[quote author=jstalljon She'd much rather have me in the woods than in a bar! [/quote] My wife just wants me out of the house . My shotgun broke during my Canada waterfowl hunt last month and when I called her and mentioned what happened she said "just go buy a new one". |
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Post by cambygsp on Oct 25, 2005 18:38:53 GMT -5
First of all......she is JUST a girlfriend, not a wife.
Second, if you think it's bad now...marry her.
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Post by indianadan on Oct 25, 2005 19:10:39 GMT -5
Just tell her like it is.
;D
Take these guys advice. I especially like how Woody put it.
I'm in a similar situation to jstalljon. I didn't start hunting until I was 27. We had been married for 5 years already and with 2 kids. She knows how much I love it, so she would never tell me stop doing it.
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Post by cambygsp on Oct 25, 2005 19:30:36 GMT -5
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Post by 911 on Oct 25, 2005 20:25:59 GMT -5
Is she Hot ?  |
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Post by Woody Williams on Oct 25, 2005 20:29:31 GMT -5
Is there anything that she dearly loves to do? Besides shop, I mean. Every woman loves to do that.
When she says "Yes, I really love to do (whatever)". Then say," You know I would never dream of asking you to give up that for me. I love you too much to ask for you to not do something that you love to do."
IOW - Put the shoe on the other foot.
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Post by Indyhunter on Oct 25, 2005 22:32:08 GMT -5
Is she Hot ? dang 911, thats horrible, just horrible. (if you find out let me know) If she wants you around 24/7 you are going to be one miserable guy. Sounds like she wants to control your life, not keep you from hunting. What would I do if I was told to give up hunting? I'd laugh then head for the woods. But thats just me. I set the stage long before I got married. And now she hunts gun season with me. |
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Post by LawrenceCoBowhunter on Oct 26, 2005 1:21:17 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice guys...She loves bowling,and I would never ask her to give it up for me,she's been doing it since she was 3..Alot of times I thinks she's being selfish,I've been hunting for about 17 years now,and it is what keeps me sane and it's something I don't think I could live without.I think one more blow up will do it.You guys are so lucky to have someone who is very understanding.Where are all of those country girls who like to deer hunt?
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Post by Woody Williams on Oct 26, 2005 5:01:22 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice guys...She loves bowling,and I would never ask her to give it up for me,she's been doing it since she was 3..Alot of times I thinks she's being selfish,I've been hunting for about 17 years now,and it is what keeps me sane and it's something I don't think I could live without.I think one more blow up will do it.You guys are so lucky to have someone who is very understanding.Where are all of those country girls who like to deer hunt? Ms. Right is out there somewhere for you too. Find one that you are compatible with, not one that wants to control you. Love is NOT about conrol.. |
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Post by DEERTRACKS on Oct 26, 2005 14:11:27 GMT -5
Excellent words of wisdom Woody!
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