Post by oldhoyt on Jan 4, 2024 15:17:24 GMT -5
My wife just said "You weren't even listening were you"
I thought, that is a weird way to start a conversation.
A man approaches a gorgeous woman in a department store and says to her "I have lost my wife somewhere in here, would you be able to talk to me for a little while".
The woman replies "ok, but why?" The man then says "Because everytime I talk to a gorgeous lady my wife appears out of nowhere."
Love may be blind but marriage is a complete eye opener.
There are only 2 occasions where a man is unable to understand a woman, before marriage anafter marriage.
Definition of a successful husband - A man who earns more than his spouse can spend.
Definition of a successful wife - A lady who is able to find such a man.
Definition of a psychiatrist - An expensive therapist that will provide you with answers which your wife will give you for free.
Little Johnny asks his dad "How much does it cost to get married dad?"
His dad replies " Well son, I have no idea, I am still paying for it."
Little Johnny says to his dad "I am going to get married"
Dad: "That is great, do you have a little girl lined up Johnny?'
Johnny: "Yeah, Nana. She is an excellent cook, she loves me and tells amazing bedtime stories"
Dad: "Unfortunately you can't marry her son"
Johnny: "What is the problem Dad?"
Dad: "Well she is my mother, and you are not allowed to marry my mother Johnny."
Johnny: "Why not? You married mine"
Jim and Bob were at the pub when Jim says "Someone stole my credit card the other day"
Bob replies "Did you report it to the police?"
Jim says "I was going to but now I dont' think I will"
Bob replies "Why on earth not?"
Jim then says "The thief spends less than my wife does".
My wife blamed me for ruining her birthday.
That is ridiculous! I didn't even know it was her birthday.
It is my wife's birthday tomorrow, she has been leaving jewelry catalogues all around the house so I bought her a magazine stand..
Bob's wife is nude and looking at herself in the mirror. She says to him "Bob, look at me, I am old and wrinkly, I am fat and saggy plus my teeth look yellow and awful. I could really use a compliment from you right about now."
Bob turns to her and says "Your eyesight is perfect."
I spent hours cutting this ladies lawn, and then she refused to pay me. When I asked why, she said..
Because we are married.
I thought, that is a weird way to start a conversation.
A man approaches a gorgeous woman in a department store and says to her "I have lost my wife somewhere in here, would you be able to talk to me for a little while".
The woman replies "ok, but why?" The man then says "Because everytime I talk to a gorgeous lady my wife appears out of nowhere."
Love may be blind but marriage is a complete eye opener.
There are only 2 occasions where a man is unable to understand a woman, before marriage anafter marriage.
Definition of a successful husband - A man who earns more than his spouse can spend.
Definition of a successful wife - A lady who is able to find such a man.
Definition of a psychiatrist - An expensive therapist that will provide you with answers which your wife will give you for free.
Little Johnny asks his dad "How much does it cost to get married dad?"
His dad replies " Well son, I have no idea, I am still paying for it."
Little Johnny says to his dad "I am going to get married"
Dad: "That is great, do you have a little girl lined up Johnny?'
Johnny: "Yeah, Nana. She is an excellent cook, she loves me and tells amazing bedtime stories"
Dad: "Unfortunately you can't marry her son"
Johnny: "What is the problem Dad?"
Dad: "Well she is my mother, and you are not allowed to marry my mother Johnny."
Johnny: "Why not? You married mine"
Jim and Bob were at the pub when Jim says "Someone stole my credit card the other day"
Bob replies "Did you report it to the police?"
Jim says "I was going to but now I dont' think I will"
Bob replies "Why on earth not?"
Jim then says "The thief spends less than my wife does".
My wife blamed me for ruining her birthday.
That is ridiculous! I didn't even know it was her birthday.
It is my wife's birthday tomorrow, she has been leaving jewelry catalogues all around the house so I bought her a magazine stand..
Bob's wife is nude and looking at herself in the mirror. She says to him "Bob, look at me, I am old and wrinkly, I am fat and saggy plus my teeth look yellow and awful. I could really use a compliment from you right about now."
Bob turns to her and says "Your eyesight is perfect."
I spent hours cutting this ladies lawn, and then she refused to pay me. When I asked why, she said..
Because we are married.
