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Post by oldhoyt on Oct 26, 2023 8:07:48 GMT -5
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech… If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Lincoln replied...if you are my wife I’ll gladly drink it.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
A roman walks into a cafe holds up 2 fingers and gets 5 coffees.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G.' The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"
It was two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife were sleeping when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? (paused for a few seconds) How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" and slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear tonight."
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
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