Post by featherduster on Mar 29, 2014 6:58:43 GMT -5
Stole this from another site.
NOW THAT I AM OLDER, I REALLY DON’T GIVE
A HOOT ABOUT BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT!
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef
sandwich, large fries, ear of corn & a jumbo hot
dog. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I
haven't eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I
had your will power.'
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime.
She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't
worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'.
I walked past a "poor" kid sitting at a bus stop
as I went into the bank dressed in brand new clothes.
When I came out, he looked at me and said
'Any Change?' I said,
'Nope, you're still broke'.
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a
day kept the doctor away. But since all the
doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a
bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a
camera with such a fantastic shutter speed
that it is now possible to take a photograph
of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to
love the days when you could look at an
unattended bag on a train or bus and think
to yourself. I'm going to take that.'
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a
local bar until the last question which I got
wrong. The question was where do women
have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct
answer...hell, how did I know they wanted
the name of a country?
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was
asked to name two things commonly found
in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans"
were NOT the correct answers.
I've learned that pleasing everyone is
impossible, but ****ing everyone off is a
piece of cake.
__________________
NOW THAT I AM OLDER, I REALLY DON’T GIVE
A HOOT ABOUT BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT!
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef
sandwich, large fries, ear of corn & a jumbo hot
dog. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I
haven't eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I
had your will power.'
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime.
She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't
worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'.
I walked past a "poor" kid sitting at a bus stop
as I went into the bank dressed in brand new clothes.
When I came out, he looked at me and said
'Any Change?' I said,
'Nope, you're still broke'.
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a
day kept the doctor away. But since all the
doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a
bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a
camera with such a fantastic shutter speed
that it is now possible to take a photograph
of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to
love the days when you could look at an
unattended bag on a train or bus and think
to yourself. I'm going to take that.'
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a
local bar until the last question which I got
wrong. The question was where do women
have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct
answer...hell, how did I know they wanted
the name of a country?
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was
asked to name two things commonly found
in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans"
were NOT the correct answers.
I've learned that pleasing everyone is
impossible, but ****ing everyone off is a
piece of cake.
__________________