Post by gillgrabber on Jan 9, 2013 9:00:32 GMT -5
Two guys, Tony and Dave, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Dave throws up all over himself. "Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!" Tony says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually Dave takes a cab home and his Jane starts to give him a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're hammered!"
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Dave says, "Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin! Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me... he had one too many and he juss couldin hold hizz liquor. He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!"
Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, "But...this is forty bucks?"
"Oh, yeah...I almos' fergot, he crapped in my pants, too."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually Dave takes a cab home and his Jane starts to give him a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're hammered!"
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Dave says, "Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin! Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me... he had one too many and he juss couldin hold hizz liquor. He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!"
Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, "But...this is forty bucks?"
"Oh, yeah...I almos' fergot, he crapped in my pants, too."
;D