Post by StingyRog on Dec 20, 2008 6:42:27 GMT -5
This is why women should not take men shopping against their
Will.
After I retired, my wife insisted I accompany her on
Her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found
Shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
Unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to
Browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
From the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Jones,
Over the past six months, your husband
has been
Causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate
This behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from
The store. Our complaints against Mr. Jones are listed below
And are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and
Randomly
Put them in people's carts when they weren't
Looking.
2 July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
Go off at 5-minute intervals.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
An official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
Right
away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
Put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION -
WET FLOOR'
Sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in
the camping
Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
If they brought pillows and blankets from the bedding
Department.
8. August
23: When a clerk asked if they could help
Him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
People just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security
Camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 12: While handling guns in the hunting
Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
Were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
While loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
His 'Madonna look' by
Using different sizes of
Funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
People browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the
Loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least,
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
Door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here!'
Regards,
Tom Richards
Wal-Mart Manager
Will.
After I retired, my wife insisted I accompany her on
Her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found
Shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
Unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to
Browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
From the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Jones,
Over the past six months, your husband
has been
Causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate
This behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from
The store. Our complaints against Mr. Jones are listed below
And are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and
Randomly
Put them in people's carts when they weren't
Looking.
2 July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
Go off at 5-minute intervals.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
An official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
Right
away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
Put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION -
WET FLOOR'
Sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in
the camping
Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
If they brought pillows and blankets from the bedding
Department.
8. August
23: When a clerk asked if they could help
Him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
People just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security
Camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 12: While handling guns in the hunting
Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
Were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
While loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
His 'Madonna look' by
Using different sizes of
Funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
People browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the
Loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least,
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
Door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here!'
Regards,
Tom Richards
Wal-Mart Manager
