Pixxed off

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first
date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely
no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside
Salt Lake City , Utah .

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and
truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful
until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the
road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
down and started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about
was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long' with a reply
that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some
assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that
should be 'pants down.' And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being ed
off.'

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was
sitting next to her on the Leno show.
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