Post by archer461582 on Apr 10, 2008 14:32:07 GMT -5
Cops can be funny:
Police Comments (allegedly) taken off actual police car videos around the country:
• You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.
• Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.
• If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
• If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.
• Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.
• You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket,
?
• Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?
• Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.
• The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
• Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs.
• Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.
• In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.
• How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?
• No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.
• I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
• You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right. We don't.
Sign here.
Police Comments (allegedly) taken off actual police car videos around the country:
• You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.
• Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.
• If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
• If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.
• Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.
• You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket,
?• Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?
• Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.
• The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
• Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs.
• Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.
• In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.
• How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?
• No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.
• I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
• You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right. We don't.
Sign here.
