|
Post by huxbux on Dec 30, 2007 8:27:14 GMT -5
I wouldn't hold the door open for her, I'd tell her not to let it hit her in the butt on the way out! The four- legged deer season is much shorter than than the two legged dear season.
|
|
|
Post by weedhopper on Dec 30, 2007 9:24:55 GMT -5
MAN,,,,,I hope Gundude reads this..... ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by Woody Williams on Dec 30, 2007 15:09:39 GMT -5
Curious as to what Amy said. Like gundude said I would hold the door open for her. Jack Amy said.......Dear Befuddled, Your letter is why ultimatums don’t usually work. (If I could I would issue an ultimatum on ultimatums) This issue will come up each hunting season; you now have a year of peace in which you can work out a compromise (and where ultimatums don’t usually work, compromises almost always work). Would your girlfriend be as unhappy if you went on this hunting excursion, enjoyed the experience but didn’t kill anything? Could you square your ethical hunting argument to keep peace at home? You could start by presenting these two extremes with the goal of taking baby steps toward each other until you meet some where in the middle. Comments now?
|
|
|
Post by larryhagmansliver on Dec 30, 2007 15:37:48 GMT -5
Perhaps this isn't the place to ask this type of question. We tend to be a little one sided here, but on the other hand I can't imagine telling my wife she couldn't do something she liked as long as it didn't hurt anyone else and was legal.
|
|
|
Post by beehunter on Dec 30, 2007 16:33:55 GMT -5
I can't imagine only getting to hunt one weekend a year and then getting in trouble for it, she will gripe no matter what hobbie he chooses.
|
|
|
Post by Sasquatch on Dec 30, 2007 17:49:18 GMT -5
I'm sorry Amy, but there doesn't seem to be any compromise! She's saying "No hunting period." To appease her, he will have to give in.
Go on a "Hunting excursion" and never kill anything? Sounds like Amy is telling him to give up the hunting to appease the nut-cracker.
NO DEAL!
|
|
|
Post by dbd870 on Dec 30, 2007 18:22:09 GMT -5
No change for me. It's over.
|
|
|
Post by buckup on Dec 30, 2007 20:03:57 GMT -5
Don't let the door hit er...where the good lord split er.
|
|
|
Post by greyhair on Dec 30, 2007 20:52:16 GMT -5
Maybe his girlfriend rented Brokeback Mountain and watched it!
Every fall me and my best bud go on a 3-day fishing trip, and I last year I tried to get him to rent it and leave it laying where his old lady would see it, just for a laugh but he was chicken.
Seriously, he should ask himself if he would do that to her? If not, she needs to go.. Even if she gives in, she is obviously the type that would do that kind of thing and he is headed for trouble.
|
|
|
Post by huxbux on Dec 30, 2007 22:14:20 GMT -5
These two obviously have basic philosophical differences about the sport of hunting and I'm betting it doesn't there. She's totally self-centered and as someone else said, controlling. I see nothing but trouble for this relationship.
I can't wait for the doc to weigh in on this.
|
|
|
Post by danf on Dec 30, 2007 22:42:31 GMT -5
I can't wait for the doc to weigh in on this. I'd bet a nickel it was mbogo that wrote the question to Amy! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D And ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D some more!!
|
|
|
Post by bsutravis on Dec 31, 2007 0:48:25 GMT -5
LMAO..... That's a good one danf!!!!! Doc hasn't chimed in on this.... She must be the girlfriend!
|
|
|
Post by cambygsp on Dec 31, 2007 4:48:03 GMT -5
Every relationship is a two way street. Is he as controlling with her?.........
It sure sounds like the relationship is doomed, If I were him I would study my priorities then look for a new girlfreind!
|
|
|
Post by solohunter on Dec 31, 2007 5:02:19 GMT -5
Dear Befuddled....well tell her you will give up hunting for good...."sell" all your hunting gear....then on the day when you and your buddy are to leave, have the best looking stripper pick you up at the house in the best naughty camo you can find and grab your "sold" hunting gear and go do what you do....do not say ANYTHING, just leave, no drawn out speeches or goodbyes.....the look on the girlfriends' face will be priceless......Solohunter
|
|
|
Post by solohunter on Dec 31, 2007 5:06:03 GMT -5
Every relationship is a two way street. Is he as controlling with her?......... It sure sounds like the relationship is doomed, If I were him I would study my priorities then look for a new girlfreind!
|
|
|
Post by featherduster on Dec 31, 2007 13:40:35 GMT -5
SOLO: You got it right. My X said that I spent to much time hunting and fishing. THATS WHY SHE BECAME MY X AFTER 25YEARS. I licked my wounds ,met a wonderful women remarried and together we now own our own hunting and fishing property. Find the right person the first time, make her apart of your sport,and you will be happy forever. I THINK.....
|
|
|
Post by huxbux on Dec 31, 2007 22:01:14 GMT -5
I'd bet a nickel it was mbogo that wrote the question to Amy! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by coyote6974 on Jan 1, 2008 15:48:59 GMT -5
He may as well get rid of her now. If she has the gall to issue an order like that she is beyond reasoning with. Cut your losses now and move on..
Coyote 6974
|
|
|
Post by drgreyhound on Jan 7, 2008 7:36:00 GMT -5
So, conveniently, here I am after being out of the country for 1.5 weeks (my first time overseas, mind you--) ...and let me give you my personal $0.02 which I generated before reading the reply from Amy. I believe that compromise is one of many necessary components of true love in a significant relationship, such as that between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. As much as two people may care for and be in love with each other, they are still two different people joining together as one unit through the relationship, and this necessitates some measure of compromise to make the relationship successful. However, there is a difference between compromise and changing who you are at the core to be in a relationship, and I think that one should never change who he or she is at the core to attempt to make a relationship successful, as this will ultimately lead to failure. How could you change who you really are and be happy in a relationship--and shouldn't a relationship ultimately foster deeper growth and happiness in each of the individuals of the couple? With that being said, I believe compromise of some of your "default" modes of operating or things you are used to in order to accommodate the other person is an important way to show love for that person, and I believe "changing" who you are at the core does a terrible disservice to the other person, as you are ultimately placing them (and yourself) in a lose-lose situation that is bound to end in failure (because this supposed "change" is not realistic). To apply what I said to this example, the girlfriend seems, at her core, to hold what I will call "animal rights" (that's what it seems to be on the surface at least) as a value. Her relationship with her boyfriend is confronting her with the unrealistic option of changing how she feels to continue this relationship, and she's probably feeling resistant (understandably) to doing that. The boyfriend, at his core, holds "hunting" as a value, and is also feeling resistance while confronted with the unrealistic option of changing how he feels to continue the relationship. Although I personally disagree with the "animal rights" stance, the girlfriend has the right to hold that opinion, just as the boyfriend has the right to hold the opinion that hunting is a good and enjoyable thing to pursue. Additionally, it seems that these values are very important to each of them; in fact, it seems as if these are so important, that change in either one's position would probably constitute changing the core of who each one of them is as a person. If they have to change who they are as people, why should they enter into a significant relationship where they become molded as one? It's bound to result in unhappiness and failure for both of them. If both of them shared their most important core values, I believe compromise would probably be possible. For example, if the girlfriend believed hunting was a good thing (and therefore shared this core value with her boyfriend), she could understandably be sad and miss him when he went off hunting (which can understandably put a strain in the relationship); however, given her deep love for him and who he is, she could respect his pursuit of his passions and be happy that he is happy doing what he loves, and compromise by allowing time for him to hunt and welcoming him when he comes home. On the other hand, the boyfriend could compromise by treating his girlfriend to something special (or "special time") when he comes home to show his appreciation for her compromise. As the circumstances of the relationship change (such as having children or aging parents to take care of), the terms of this particular compromise can change to accommodate the needs of each individual in the couple and the demands placed on the couple. If each member of the couple is as different at the core as these two seem to be, appropriate and necessary compromise is most likely not possible (in my humble opinion). It's better that this relationship ends now than after the marriage, and when others are thrown into the mix (such as children) that would be harmed by the couple's separation. It seems that both of them would be happier if they sought significant others that held core values more consistent with their own. Sorry for the long, rambling post, but I hope this is somewhat understandable!!!
|
|
|
Post by Woody Williams on Jan 7, 2008 7:50:29 GMT -5
So, conveniently, here I am after being out of the country for 1.5 weeks (my first time overseas, mind you--) ...and let me give you my personal $0.02 which I generated before reading the reply from Amy. ................................ Sorry for the long, rambling post, but I hope this is somewhat understandable!!! Well welcome back...... we missed you. It is understandable.... if they are deadlocked on this now it will only get worse after marriage.. The guy is only asking for one weekend a year (now) and I would not think that is too much of a scarifice for the woman to make.... BUT if she is a died in the wool ARf then she would never go along with even that one weekend. Time for both of them to move on..
|
|