Post by raporter on Feb 13, 2008 17:08:48 GMT -5
RED-NECK VALENTINE
>> Collards is green
>> my dog's name is Blue
>> and I'm so lucky to have
>> a sweet thang like you.
>>
>> Yore hair is like cornsilk
>> a-flapping in the breeze
>> Softer than Blue's
>> and without all them fleas.
>>
>> You move like the bass,
>> which excite me in May.
>> You ain't got no scales
>> but I luv you anyway.
>>
>> Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
>> jist a-fry'n in the pan.
>> Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
>> right out of the can.
>>
>> You have som'a yore teeth,
>> for which I am proud;
>> I hold my head high
>> when we're in a crowd.
>>
>> On special occasions,
>> when you shave under yore arms,
>> well, I'm in hawg heaven,
>> and awed by yore charms.
>>
>> Still them fellers at work,
>> they all want to know,
>> what I did to deserve
>> such a purdy, young doe.
>>
>> Like a good roll of duct tape
>> yo're there fer yore man,
>> to patch up life's troubles
>> and fix what you can.
>>
>> Yo're as cute as a junebug
>> a-buzzin' overhead.
>> You ain't mean like those far ants
>> I found in my bed.
>>
>> Cut from the best cloth
>> like a plaid flannel shirt,
>> you spark up my life
>> more than a fresh load of dirt.
>>
>> When you hold me real tight
>> like a padded gunrack,
>> my life is complete;
>> Ain't nuttin' I lack.
>>
>> Yore complexion, it's perfection,
>> like the best vinyl sidin'.
>> despite all the years,
>> yore age, it keeps hidin'.
>>
>> Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
>> with a RC cold drank,
>> we go together
>> like a skunk goes with stank.
>>
>> Some men, they buy chocolate
>> for Valentine's Day;
>> They git it at Wal-Mart,
>> it's romantic that way.
>>
>> Some men git roses
>> on that special day
>> from the cooler at Kroger.
>> "That's impressive," I say.
>>
>> Some men buy fine diamonds
>> from a flea market booth.
>> "Diamonds are forever,"
>> they explain, suave and couth.
>>
>> But for this man, honey, these won't do.
>> Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you.
>> I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
>> more useful than diamonds...
>>
>> IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
>> Collards is green
>> my dog's name is Blue
>> and I'm so lucky to have
>> a sweet thang like you.
>>
>> Yore hair is like cornsilk
>> a-flapping in the breeze
>> Softer than Blue's
>> and without all them fleas.
>>
>> You move like the bass,
>> which excite me in May.
>> You ain't got no scales
>> but I luv you anyway.
>>
>> Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
>> jist a-fry'n in the pan.
>> Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
>> right out of the can.
>>
>> You have som'a yore teeth,
>> for which I am proud;
>> I hold my head high
>> when we're in a crowd.
>>
>> On special occasions,
>> when you shave under yore arms,
>> well, I'm in hawg heaven,
>> and awed by yore charms.
>>
>> Still them fellers at work,
>> they all want to know,
>> what I did to deserve
>> such a purdy, young doe.
>>
>> Like a good roll of duct tape
>> yo're there fer yore man,
>> to patch up life's troubles
>> and fix what you can.
>>
>> Yo're as cute as a junebug
>> a-buzzin' overhead.
>> You ain't mean like those far ants
>> I found in my bed.
>>
>> Cut from the best cloth
>> like a plaid flannel shirt,
>> you spark up my life
>> more than a fresh load of dirt.
>>
>> When you hold me real tight
>> like a padded gunrack,
>> my life is complete;
>> Ain't nuttin' I lack.
>>
>> Yore complexion, it's perfection,
>> like the best vinyl sidin'.
>> despite all the years,
>> yore age, it keeps hidin'.
>>
>> Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
>> with a RC cold drank,
>> we go together
>> like a skunk goes with stank.
>>
>> Some men, they buy chocolate
>> for Valentine's Day;
>> They git it at Wal-Mart,
>> it's romantic that way.
>>
>> Some men git roses
>> on that special day
>> from the cooler at Kroger.
>> "That's impressive," I say.
>>
>> Some men buy fine diamonds
>> from a flea market booth.
>> "Diamonds are forever,"
>> they explain, suave and couth.
>>
>> But for this man, honey, these won't do.
>> Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you.
>> I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
>> more useful than diamonds...
>>
>> IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
