Post by tusti on Oct 4, 2008 10:26:21 GMT -5
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a Washington State
University chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was
so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets t o Hell , it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ;
"Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
The following is an actual question given on a Washington State
University chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was
so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets t o Hell , it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist
in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ;
"Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
