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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 26, 2024 11:00:36 GMT -5
A drunk stumbled into a church one day. He looks around, then heads into the confession booth and takes a seat.
The priest waits a few minutes for the confession to begin. When the man doesn't say anything, the priest begins to get concerned.
The priest knocks on the side of the booth and the drunk guy cuts him off and says,
"Don't even bother. There's no toilet paper in this one either."
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 26, 2024 10:29:05 GMT -5
Prices at ammoseek start at about $50 for a box of 20 rounds. And you'll pay shipping on top of that.
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 21, 2024 8:58:09 GMT -5
Glad you got it sorted HC. I had no doubt you'd resolve it.
Hope to see a range report in the not too distant future.
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 21, 2024 8:22:23 GMT -5
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 20, 2024 15:24:27 GMT -5
These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!
1. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; Bring a friend, if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
3. "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
5. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
6."Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
9. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
10."He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
11. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
12. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
13. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
14. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
15. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
16. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
18. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
19. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
20. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
21. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx.
22."He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 18, 2024 12:47:58 GMT -5
Snow squalls today in South Bend. Nothing sticking.
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 14, 2024 12:11:11 GMT -5
Their website indicates all bow types are allowed: "We are a laid-back archery community that welcomes people of all ages, skill levels, and bow types, located on the corner of Rt 149 and 600 N in Valparaiso."
To be sure you could give them a call:
590 N State Rd 149, Valparaiso, IN 46385 Phone: (219) 331-6217
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 14, 2024 7:55:41 GMT -5
A lawyer boards a plane in New Orleans carrying a box of frozen crab. He tells the stewardess to put them in the freezer by the cockpit. He then tells her he's a lawyer, and both she and the airline will be in big trouble if the crab thaws during the flight. His attitude aggravates the stewardess greatly, but she puts the crab in the freezer. Then she had an idea. Just before landing in New York, she got on the intercom and gave the usual instructions for preparing to land. Then she added, "And could the lawyer that gave me the crabs in New orleans please report to the front fo the cabin?"
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 11, 2024 14:31:37 GMT -5
Not sure who qualifies but apparently I don't Im guessing it would be pretty slim pickins on who would qualify for the permanent boat registration. IC 9-31-3-25 Motorboats owned or leased and used for official business; exemption for payment of registration fees Sec. 25. A motorboat that is owned or leased and used for official business by the following must be registered on a date selected by the bureau but is exempt from the payment of registration fees: (1) The state. (2) A municipal corporation (as defined in IC 36-1-2-10). (3) A volunteer fire department (as defined in IC 36-8-12-2). (4) A volunteer emergency ambulance service that: (A) meets the requirements of IC 16-31; and (B) has only members that serve for no compensation or a nominal annual compensation of not more than three thousand five hundred dollars ($3,500).
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 11, 2024 9:04:37 GMT -5
The safety on this gun locks the trigger as well as the lever. The lever is not moving now, but is the trigger free or stuck in one position? If it were me, I'd fully disassemble the gun and put it back together, if that's possible in its current state.
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Cots
Mar 5, 2024 7:17:33 GMT -5
Post by oldhoyt on Mar 5, 2024 7:17:33 GMT -5
thanks to oldhoyt I just wasted way to much time on majors website. lots of deals and potential there. No kidding! I've been happy with the stuff I've gotten from them.
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 4, 2024 11:43:54 GMT -5
We always had great strawberries. Well, the chipmunks did anyway.
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 4, 2024 11:21:13 GMT -5
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 4, 2024 7:53:48 GMT -5
Three doctors start their own practice. Things are going great and they decide they need to hire another nurse. They hire a nurse and agree to meet in one week to discuss her performance. At the meeting, the first doctor says, "I'm not sure about her. I told her that her hours are 9 to 5, and she showed up at 5 AM the next morning". The second doctor said, "I know what you mean, I told her a patient was to take 1 antibiotic every 6 hours, and she told him to take 6 pills every hour". The third doctor seemed surprised, he said, "I haven't had any problems like that". Just then a blood-curdling scream came from the next room. The third doctor ran to the door and looked inside. He then turned back to the other 2 doctors and said, "Oh, I see what you mean". The other doctors asked what happened. The third doctor said, "I told her that guy needed a boil prikked."
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 1, 2024 9:08:52 GMT -5
A redneck walks into an icecream shop and asks for a gallon of chocolate icecream.
The clerk tells him they are out of chocolate for the day.
The redneck says, "OK, I'll just take a pint of chocolate then."
The clerk says, "I'm sorry if I wasn't clear, we're completely out of chocolate."
The redneck says, "OK, I can get by with just a scoop of chocolate then."
The clerk is now beginning to question the redneck's intelligence. The clerk points to a sign on the counter that reads, "Sorry, we're out of chocolate today" and asks, "Can you read that sign?"
The redneck says, "Yeah, I guess?"
Unconvinced the clerk asks the redneck, "Can you tell me where the V is in vanilla?"
The redneck says, "At the beginning."
The clerk then asks, "Can you tell me where the Y is in strawberry?"
The redneck says, "At the end."
The clerk then says, "OK, one last question, can you tell me where the F is in chocolate?"
The redneck thinks for a minute and replies, "There's no F in chocolate."
The clerk says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
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Post by oldhoyt on Mar 1, 2024 7:28:41 GMT -5
I predict the hot bait on the walleye circuit this year will be lead sinkers. Last year guys were catching big walleyes just loaded with the things!
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Post by oldhoyt on Feb 28, 2024 12:23:51 GMT -5
Unless that goat belonged to my wife, I'd have a sudden need to study up on Kentuck barbeque. They love their barbequed goat in Kentucky.
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Post by oldhoyt on Feb 27, 2024 8:38:50 GMT -5
I saw this on another forum, no idea where it is or how high off the ground it is. I could see someone doing it on purpose to get a cool handle in an axe. If they had a lot of patience
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Post by oldhoyt on Feb 26, 2024 14:01:01 GMT -5
There's a little slide lever that locks the lever in place. The lever won't move until you release it.
Hopefully, that's the issue.
I've always liked Savage 99s.
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Post by oldhoyt on Feb 26, 2024 7:15:41 GMT -5
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm.
He bellowed to his First Mate, "Quickly now, bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Quickly now, bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was won!
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battles?"
The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their leader for his usual command.
The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Quickly now, bring me my brown pants!!!"
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