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Post by saltydog on Dec 2, 2018 6:07:36 GMT -5
As a few of you know my mother has been in the hospital for the past week with congestive heart failer. She is progressing nicely and should be able to come home Monday or Tuesday.
My questions are looking for advise, things to do or not to do ?
Im working with a case worker on some home PT , Meals on wheels type of thing.
I would like to hear from you all on things you might have experience or knowledge with ?
Also mom and I have talked over this Power of Attorney thing and signing over the house and such, I know nothing about these matters so any and all info would be greatly appreciated .
Thanks in advance
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Post by bartiks on Dec 2, 2018 6:50:37 GMT -5
Is it power of attorney or guardianship? The reason I ask is my uncle went thru this around 2 years ago, he was talked into signing over guardianship to his kids. And whenever that happened it went down hill fast for him.
What I seen was a huge decline in his overall mental health and his general well being. All decision making was removed from him and going from an independent man he was from that point forward relegated to being a child in a manner of terms. I may be way off base in what you are looking for, I guess what I am trying to say is keep your mother involved in a lot of the decision making and that in turn will allow her to keep her sense of self and independence.
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Post by featherduster on Dec 2, 2018 6:54:49 GMT -5
My best advise to you is to contact what is known as an ELDER attorney,this is an attorney that specializes in senior affairs.
Obtaining power of attorney is a good thing and you might want to look into her gifting money to you on an annual basis, not sure but I know there is an annual cap that is tax free.
She can also do this to other siblings and then you and your siblings put this money aside always mindful that if she needs money, it's hers.
Other things might include vehicle titles in your name.
If your thinking you can hide all her money from the nursing homes... think again.
Contact an ELDER ATTORNEY it will be money well spent.
Ask the attorney when was the last time they attended an elders seminar,conference update.
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Post by beermaker on Dec 2, 2018 8:09:21 GMT -5
Featherduster makes several good points. My own mother just came home from her third stay in the nursing home in the last five years. Each time has been for rehab after surgery.
My wife and I met with an estate planning attorney recently to write our wills. I asked about my parents' affairs. I wanted to buy their house and rent it back to them. Not so easy. If I understood her correctly, nursing homes, hospitals, etc. can go back five years to recover expenses.
Assuming that the family is trustworthy and has a good relationship with your mother, the best thing for her to do is to start gifting the maximum amount of money each year to you and any other children, grandchildren, etc. Set up a new account for each beneficiary and don't touch the money in case she needs it. I THINK the non-taxable maximum is $15k/year. My wife's grandfather did this. He wrote two checks to each of his seven children a few years ago. One dated 12/31 and the other 1/01.
No matter what, I'd consult an attorney.
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Post by Woody Williams on Dec 2, 2018 8:19:37 GMT -5
I agree on the attorney...Be sure it is an ELDER Attorney.
Yes, the nursing homes can go back five years for funds.
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Post by Woody Williams on Dec 2, 2018 8:24:53 GMT -5
GIFTING - "The $14,000 annual gift exclusion is a limit on nontaxable gifts PER person, and you may give multiple people up to $14,000 each without incurring any tax liability. However, the amounts of your annual gift exclusions are limited to a lifetime total of $5,490,000 for Tax Year 2017."
You can also gift charitable organizations. I do a once a year donation out of my 401K to my church and a youth home.
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Post by bill9068 on Dec 2, 2018 8:37:51 GMT -5
Just went through this a month ago. My mother was on a cruise in Hawaii and had a stroke. My 3 sisters were with her so she was never alone. All went well for a few days till she had a brain bleed, she never recovered and passed. During her hospitalization in IC we searched for her living will to see how she wanted to be treated by the doctors. What I’m saying is have this information in hand before something happens. My mother as it turned out didn’t want advanced life support, we didn’t know cause it was never discussed while she was alive. Hope all turns out well for your family.
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Post by medic22 on Dec 2, 2018 8:40:23 GMT -5
As has been mentioned consult an attorney. If you move things around early enough you can keep them out of the hands of medicare.
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Post by featherduster on Dec 2, 2018 9:23:18 GMT -5
If I may add this to my earlier comments: if your family creates a will take time to cover every aspect of it now before the will is written and make sure that everybody involved is on board 100%.
If you think that at a later date you want to change something and you and your siblings decide to just agree or even draw up an agreement page outside of altering the original document your extra page will be worthless if your mother passes and you or your siblings disagree about that page.
The will is the final court recognized document not a piece of paper you created outside of the will.
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Post by nfalls116 on Dec 2, 2018 9:25:29 GMT -5
I think an attorney would be the right person to talk to about the financial stuff maybe even an accountant of some type?
I would definitely make sure that she has an advance directive if she has wishes to not receive any type of care in the event that she becomes unable to communicate her wishes to the care staff.
Also I believe there is long term care insurance that may be something to look into.
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Post by bartiks on Dec 2, 2018 20:16:14 GMT -5
Whenever my grandmother moved from living by herself to living in a nursing home she divided all the savings amongst her 5 children. She then sold the house to my uncle who then divided up the profit from the house and each child put their percentage into an account to help cover for any medical bills and the like outside of what medicare would cover.
Also she designated 2 different children to be power of attorney. 1 child was power of attorney over financial and the other was power of attorney over medical that way not one child had the power to decide all her affairs.
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Post by saltydog on Dec 3, 2018 5:33:23 GMT -5
Is it power of attorney or guardianship? The reason I ask is my uncle went thru this around 2 years ago, he was talked into signing over guardianship to his kids. And whenever that happened it went down hill fast for him. What I seen was a huge decline in his overall mental health and his general well being. All decision making was removed from him and going from an independent man he was from that point forward relegated to being a child in a manner of terms. I may be way off base in what you are looking for, I guess what I am trying to say is keep your mother involved in a lot of the decision making and that in turn will allow her to keep her sense of self and independence. Bartiks It will be for POA and other things that come along. As of now Mom is still of sound mind and would be involved in all decisions. |
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Post by saltydog on Dec 3, 2018 5:52:59 GMT -5
Wow lots of great ideas guys. I do believe that I have found an attorney. Mom has a will and has divided some things up between my sisters and brother, but no moneys have been distributed. I did not know about gifting each sibling. As far as us siblings we are in complete agreement with each other and Mom. I was chosen to handle the affairs due to being the oldest son, My sister are both older but live in West Virginia and would be hard for them to travel back and forth to TCB.
And Bill 9068 sorry for your loss !
Thanks so much guys for the info, I have some homework to do !
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Post by featherduster on Dec 3, 2018 6:00:18 GMT -5
salty: believe me when I stress the importance of having EVERYTHING spelled out in the will.
I know of a very nice family that is now divided, half of them have not spoken to the other half for over 10 year because they agreed outside of the written will on an issue and when that parent died minds were changed and a court argument divided them.
The sad thing about it was it was over a just couple thousand dollars.
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Post by parrothead on Dec 3, 2018 6:08:54 GMT -5
All great advice. Also make sure the funeral is all planned out. If you can prepay for it all. Have them also pick out what they want to be buried in, where and headstone type. Its a difficult talk but has to be done
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Post by treetop on Dec 3, 2018 14:29:39 GMT -5
The down side to giving money away to kids to hold is if they fall on a hardship and there forced to spend all there money to get help and that can happen in a second with a car wreck heart attack cancer.
Another Is one of the kids turns in to a a$$ over the money I know this first hand it’s a mess never did I think my sister would be that way
I think they changed the law and can look back 7 years now
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2018 14:32:19 GMT -5
Trust fund?
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Post by bartiks on Dec 4, 2018 11:32:53 GMT -5
salty: believe me when I stress the importance of having EVERYTHING spelled out in the will. I know of a very nice family that is now divided, half of them have not spoken to the other half for over 10 year because they agreed outside of the written will on an issue and when that parent died minds were changed and a court argument divided them. The sad thing about it was it was over a just couple thousand dollars. I couldn't agree with feather any more. Make sure that every last little detail is taken care of. I never would of thought that my mother and her 4 siblings would fight as much as did but they were like cats and dogs. I think the main thing they fought over was each one had an ideal about what "Dad wanted this" and the like. There were a lot of hurt feelings and there were several family meetings that took place and I mean the whole family. Grand kids got involved their spouses and the like.
The devil is in the details as they say. Best of luck to you navigating this unfamiliar phase of your life. And remember we are here to lend you a sympathetic ear.
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Post by saltydog on Dec 7, 2018 5:54:18 GMT -5
Thanks again guys for the info. I'm on vacation next week to try to TCB.
Update on Mom is that she is being released from the hospital today and will go into physical therapy rehab for about 3 weeks.
Her heart issues are under control for now, we just need to just her to build up her strength.
thanks again for the help and prayers.
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Post by featherduster on Dec 7, 2018 7:13:57 GMT -5
I am glad to hear your mother is improving.....but don't let this derail plans to put the family matters in order.
Now This; HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE A WILL IN PLACE AS WELL AS OTHER ISSUES RESOLVED IN CASE THE WORSE HAPPENS TO YOU OR YOUR WIFE?
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